Oh my strong friends,
How have you been? As I posted on my FB account, I had to "disappear" for a couple of months, to protect my kiddos and loved ones. But I'm going to be honest, because that's how I do. I've missed you. I've missed the connection. I've missed sharing my thoughts with you, hopefully settling your minds and hearts to a peaceful state, knowing that you're not alone. You've helped me, too. Somehow sharing my thoughts has been so therapeutic, knowing that I'm not alone either. Here we are, united again, and I'm not going anywhere this time.:) So before getting back into my story, I thought that I would refill you in on my thoughts and feelings about this whole muddy of a mess of a situation that we are in. Because you can't just quench your thirst one single delicious drink at a restaurant....you need refills! Reminders of how good it tastes, feels and how satisfying it is! I need a pop. Soda. Coke. However you term it, I'm thirsty.
Ahhhhh, refreshing. With my pop/soda/coke at my side......here we go.
Refill #1: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I want to reiterate that and write it in the sky. You might feel physically alone, with everyone out of the house, in the process of divorce. Or you might feel emotionally alone, with husband and kids running circles around you. I'm a believer of God and I want you to remember that you are never alone without Him. He will always be there. For you. For me. For the abuser. He's there. The minute you feel all by yourself, drop to your knees and ask for help. You'll be surprised because I know you'll get that help. If it takes something as simple as going on an errand, with the intent to make conversation with someone, then that means you haven't been alone. And you probably made that person's day, usually most customers don't like to talk and are in a rush! Whatever it is, if you are feeling that way, I will introduce a math concept to our blog:
Feeling alone + praying your way through it = tender mercies will flow, just look.
(We just did a word problem! We've got this! haha)
Refill #2: YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE. You're a superhero, remember? Tap into that strength to let yourself build up, get stronger and prepare to handle whatever might lie ahead.
It's confession time, friends. About a month ago, I took that cape off. I went through a horrific and heartbreaking situation, only because it involved one of my children and what they were being told by their certain parent figure and there was NOTHING I could do about it. That hopeless feeling where my arms went limp and every nerve cringed because I couldn't help one of my babies. I was weak, exhausted and cried a lot because my little one didn't need to have such a heavy adult issue burdening their precious mind. I went to the gym to work off the frustration and had a complete panic attack. I felt like I was going to fall off of the elliptical. I couldn't breathe, I thought the world was going to come crashing down and worst of all, I thought I would break a bone falling off of the machine and then an ambulance would have to come and get me. That would be so embarrassing.....So I prayed!! Something like this, "God, I'm about to make a complete fool out of myself, please make the panic attack stop and send blood to my head NOW!" Then, my tender mercy momma, who must have received inspiration to text me, sent me something like this: "You are stronger than you think you are, my daughter. You can do this." Can you believe that? Coincidental timing? I think not. The panic attack subsided. No ambulance and flailing body....phew! But I knew that I was letting the kryptonite take over and make me weak, I needed to get that cape back on prove my strength. So I did, with the help of my answered prayer, through my amazing mom. And now I might be a little bit stronger now, too. Just sayin....;)
Potty break time....these refills are going right through us! ha!
Refill #3: YOU CAN DO THIS!! It's all about moving forward. And I feel that I should remind you that once again, I am not an advocate of divorce. If you absolutely adore your hubs, just hate the temper, there's hope. But if you've come to a dead end and you know there's no hope, then you'll do the right thing. It's all about baby steps, moving forward. I believe that if you're stagnant, you're not progressing. Even if you're falling short (like me taking my cape off and facing a near death on the elliptical) you're still moving. But I want you to move forward. Little by little, bit by bit.
Last refill #4: YOU are so important and loved. You matter. You are needed by your loved ones around you. God loves you. Look at how you're growing, becoming stronger, and surviving. You. Are. Amazing. This is the shortest paragraph, but it's the most important one.
And now that our thirst is quenched, I feel that my story can continue. Stay tuned.
Until then.......Strengthly Yours,
aMOMynous
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