My dear SuperMOM friends,
Okay, I'm dedicating this one to you strong, superhero MOMS out there. Men, you are cordially invited to nod your head and agree with all that is said in this blog! Because you're still important, too. It's just that we need to focus on you mommas, in light of today's holiday!!
I hope and pray you have had a wonderful day. That you have realized that you are so important! Whether you have small children, no children, grown children, not your own children....you get my drift. YOU are so unique in your own different way that it is so obvious to me how NEEDED and IMPORTANT you are in this life. There's a day to celebrate that fact!! I wish I would have know my future self now a few years ago...........
I remember dreading Mother's Day. May I remind you that I felt like a failure in every aspect of a human being, let along being a mom. I loved my kids so much I could hardly stand it. But the comparison game would always creep in. And I would listen to the negativity that was told to me and believed every syllable of it. My friend A had it all together and cooked gourmet meals every night in a spotless house. My friend B rolled around with her kids while they laughed and giggled and adored her. My friend C would hug and kiss her husband and provide the house with a spirit of love every day. And then there was Lame Mommy Me. After seeing and witnessing my perfect friends, believing the not so nice things that were told to me and scanning my messy house, I dreaded the day to celebrate me, the Failure. Mother's Day could never get over fast enough....except for that nap. I always got the nap and those were two glorious hours to myself. But then I would go to church and hear how perfect all the mommies were and I would feel even worse. My husband at the time would try really hard to provide a good day. But I already felt horrible about who I was, I surely didn't want a day centered around that!!
I remember one year, when he was in a high position calling in our church, he had gotten upset with me that morning on Mother's Day, before church. Of course, I can't remember what it was (and I have since learned that this is a side effect, if you will, of those that have been abused. They just can't remember the specific situation, but they remember how they felt). He then left to go to church and his meetings. I had a little bit of a cry, but believed it all. So I took my kids to church and sat in the pew. He then stood up and talked about how wonderful I was, that I'm a saint to put up with him, that he couldn't have asked for a better person than his wife and so on and so forth. Really? Wait, about 2 hours ago, I was in trouble for things that I was doing wrong. Now I'm an angel sent to him? Wait. I couldn't understand, but the Praise from the Pulpit was good. And I liked it. I learned to look forward to the Pulpit Praising days....because it helped me to forget how he had made me feel at home. Where no one was watching or listening. This is when I realized that there was a sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome going on. He would act good and kind and loving one moment, then the next, turn into a completely different person. It was hard to follow and hard to keep track of and I never knew which facet of a husband I was going to get. So I basically lived in a state of confusion. Believing everything Angry Husband would tell me and then believing everything Kind Husband would tell me. I was a mixed bag of tricks, let me tell ya. Never knowing who or what to believe.
What a horrible way to live!! Mother's Day should have been all about celebrating the fact that I birthed these children and happened to adore them at the same time. That I have a mother that birthed me and I adore her. Instead, I didn't even know how to feel. Lame Numb Me.
So how did I snap out of it? Well, friends. I'm learning. But one thing that I learned very quickly was to LOVE MYSELF. Holiday or not. Love who I am, wekanesses and mistakes included. Love the fact that I am a breathing soul who has one title to these children that I love: Mom. No one else in the world is their mom but me. And that goes for you too. You are so valuable in the eyes of your children, God and me. You have no idea. You are the SuperHero to your children. But SuperHeroes need to believe in themselves first before they can go saving those around them.
So here is my challenge, post Celebration of You Day. Look deep within yourself. Reflect. Get to know Fabulous You. Fall in love with yourself. Not romantically, obviously. But let yourself LOVE the person that is the reflection in the mirror. You can do it. Look past the faults you think you have. Look for that spark. It's there. Ignite it. Let it grow. Let it shine. Let US meet Superhero You.
Because that's exactly what you are. And your world is waiting to see it......
You are amazing.
Strengthly yours,
aMOMynous
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