My dearest SuperHeroes,
I'm BACK!! Phew! Yes, I'm alive. I have missed you. I have thought about you. I have prayed for you. And oh, heavens, I have been busy. I have had HUGE life changes happen and it's taken a while to let the dust settle. I moved to a completely new location, knowing a couple of people, but letting God direct my path. I have started a new job, with my brain learning and growing a new field, which I LOVE. I have been a momma to my kids full time, as my ex husband has been trying to move to my new location as well, with visits whenever he can. So pretty much, I had to take a step back, put on my cape, and with all my strength and might, be a real-life Superhero to my kids and myself during this huge transition.
As you have been in my thoughts, and here we are the day before Halloween, I have seen so many cute SuperHero costumes on kiddos at school and shopping. I couldn't help but think of MY Superheroes--YOU. And as I have met so many amazing people in my new location, I thought of a particular conversation with a friend, who is going through a divorce as well. One comment that she made, struck a chord, made me think of you, and now I need to share. She was telling me that on the "Outside" of her marriage everything looked perfect (according to our religion) how a family SHOULD look. Especially a husband and wife.
But her marriage was imploding.
IMPLODING. That word pummeled me. My friend nailed it.
MY marriage imploded. We both let it happen.
Dictionary.com Definition of Implode:
To burst inward (opposite of explode)
Have you ever seen a building, right before it's imploded?
The building looks perfectly normal before, doesn't it? It looks functional, well built, on a solid foundation....suitable. BUT what happens on the inside? Dynamite is placed all over the building in strategic spots, and with the push of a button, it's leveled. No more functional building. Ir-repairable.
As soon as my friend shared this with me, I could instantly relate!! For 16 years, sticks of dynamite were being place in strategic parts of my marriage. Not on purpose. But they were there. Waiting to be lit. On the outside of our marriage, everything looked fabulous, as I've stated before. I made sure of that! I am to blame. I knew that there was dynamite on the inside, but the outside looked spectacular. Perfect house. Perfect kids. Perfect wife. Perfect life.
Except for those sticks of dynamite.
Then, one day, with a push of the button, I lit those dynamite sticks and our outward perfect life crumbled. Our marriage imploded. Because of those dynamite sticks that were never removed. Our marriage leveled.
Now. Let's think about this. Could I have removed those sticks of dynamite? Certainly. I've said before, that if I would have nipped his behavior in the bud, early on, perhaps we would be married still. But I feel that in my situation, it was just too late. The implosion happened and it was over. And now, almost 2 years later, the dust has settled, the big move and life change has happened, and I am rebuilding a NEW building, dynamite free. It's going to be spectacular. With the shiniest outside, and equally beautiful, FUNCTIONAL, inside. It's hard work. Exhausting. But it's happening.
Now we are going to talk about you, my Super Heroes. AS I've stated before, I'm not a supporter of divorce. I'm a supporter of YOU. And your happiness.
Are there sticks of dynamite in your marriage? Strategically placed, waiting for that push of a button? You might want to think about removing those. Delicately. Being sensitive as to why they were placed there. Asking for help and support from your Dynamite Placer, you and your significant other. With care, caution, effort and support, those sticks of dynamite can be removed and the building of your marriage can remain standing. And as it looks perfect on the outside, maybe it's time to do a little housecleaning, making it equally as beautiful on the inside.
What if you can't take it? The dynamite is stuck and your supporter doesn't want to assist you in clearing them out? What if you pushed that button and the implosion has begun? Don't fret, my friends. This is when you rely on the SuperHero strength that you've been given. Everything is going to crumble. It will seem as if the world has ended. It will look like a battle ground. Dust and debris will be scattered. This is the time that you need to be on your knees, praying, that God will get you through. Because He knows that you're worth it. RELY on Him to get you through. He will. I promise. I was just there.
And before you know it, the dust will settle, and you can begin rebuilding your new life. Make it more grand. Make it more sparkly. Make it more happy. Oh yeah......worry about the outside later. I was talking about the inside. Wink.
Because once the inside is more grand, more sparkly and more happy, you'll notice that you didn't have to work as hard on the outside. It will naturally shine.
You're amazing, my friends. You can do this. Life is hard, but when you're a SuperHero?
You're unstoppable.
I love you.
Strengthly yours,
aMOMynous
